So I went to work on Sunday, came home, and Curtis was rebooting the system. Come to find out, the whole computer was practically crashed and lost just about everything. Luckily, the computer had given my boyfriend the option of backing up the files. So, I technically didn't lose anything, I just have to go digging around the back ups to find it.
This is very frustrating to me seeing as I had lost my laptop, lost his laptop, lost the old computer TWICE. So, it got me a little discouraged.
However, I am feeling much better now and just wanted to say that I am working very hard on all these projects I've been dropping hints about. Pocketful Of Insight will officially be set up and running as soon as I finish the video footage for the tattoo expo from Vegas. Then it shall have new posts every other day on products/movies/music/whatever I feel like.
As well, I have been working on my friends and mine's Zazzle account/designs. A lot of the old ones need retouching and some just need to be deleted, period. Though, this is also discouraging when your friend sees it as a fun little side thing and you're trying to put your heart into it! I wish I could draw like him because then I wouldn't to worry about. I could easily take it over myself when he goes away to doctoring school. Sigh.
Then there is the money/work issue. My job is very...well, not well put together and I get about five scheduled hours a week. Minimum wage + ten hrs every paycheck = me not making enough. Not to mention, Curtis got demoted at work just so they cut his pay and save a few bucks. So he's depressed and stressed about bills, I'm stressed about bills and depressed about the computer. It just equals one big fail of a week.
So you see, whoever you are... I have been very discouraged lately. But this does not mean I have given up hope on my writing. In fact, it has put a fire under my bum, moving me into motion! I have wrote up the rough, rough draft of my book. I will be working HARD on that. I have discussed new design ideas with Hugo. And, I have put most of the Las Vegas footage together and finished the article. I have been doing a lot, just nothing for the public eye. This needs to change.
And it will.
Very soon.
♥
Alexis
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
Woo
Long time no post.
So, Vegas was absolutely amazing! And I want to go again! Maybe for my birthday next year. I want to see Holly Madison's 'Peep Show'. They showed some of it on The Girls Next Door the other episode, and it looks fantastic! Seeing as my twenty first birthday totally was not awesome. All of my friends were under-age/too old to be out late, and we just chilled in Tahoe. On a Sunday.
So, I was thinking of Vegas-ing it up next year. Possibly, I don't know. My two main friends still wont be twenty one until the Fall, so it seems almost pointless yet again? Minus the fact that I adore Las Vegas. I do like the idea of going to a show I picked out, drinking with my besties Candice and Curtis, and looking hot! Also, I do so love Holly. It was sad when she left Hugh Hefner. And for what? A crazy magician who she later dumped as well...
Got off track there.
Anyways, Las Vegas was good fun. The tattoo expo was alright, I was glad it was free that's for sure. I need to finish up my article on it and post it. That would be useful. I think I'll sign off of Blogger for tonight and go work on that right away.
I have a lot of good feelings for the future right now...
Love and peace
Alexis
So, Vegas was absolutely amazing! And I want to go again! Maybe for my birthday next year. I want to see Holly Madison's 'Peep Show'. They showed some of it on The Girls Next Door the other episode, and it looks fantastic! Seeing as my twenty first birthday totally was not awesome. All of my friends were under-age/too old to be out late, and we just chilled in Tahoe. On a Sunday.
So, I was thinking of Vegas-ing it up next year. Possibly, I don't know. My two main friends still wont be twenty one until the Fall, so it seems almost pointless yet again? Minus the fact that I adore Las Vegas. I do like the idea of going to a show I picked out, drinking with my besties Candice and Curtis, and looking hot! Also, I do so love Holly. It was sad when she left Hugh Hefner. And for what? A crazy magician who she later dumped as well...
Got off track there.
Anyways, Las Vegas was good fun. The tattoo expo was alright, I was glad it was free that's for sure. I need to finish up my article on it and post it. That would be useful. I think I'll sign off of Blogger for tonight and go work on that right away.
I have a lot of good feelings for the future right now...
Love and peace
Alexis
Friday, October 2, 2009
Mini-Vacation
Yes, that is right! It is off to another mini-vacation for me! And here I am, yet again, going to the beautifully popular Las Vegas! Only this time, I am taking my boyfriend and best friend along for the ride.
I got free tickets to this years Biggest Tattoo Expo on Earth in the Mandalay Bay Hotel and Casino. Whoot whoot! I'm super excited because last time me and the bestie went it was more for a future job aspect for her. This time, we're going for pure fun! And it's suppose to be a lovely 80 and up the whole time we are there, so my snowboarder boyfriend can't complain about how hot is when it was 80 almost all of September here. Anyways, back to the expo! I'm super excited to go because I've always been interested in tattoos. It runs in my family. My dad has quite a few jesters (scary ones!) and my mom has a peace sign and a daisy. Grandpa... Well, he just got his... fifth one, I think. So, as you can see, my family is really supportive in the whole body art thing and now that I'm old enough to feel like I can make a clean decision on a respectful piece, why not check out all my options at the expo? They're going to have a historic tattoo museum, booths galore, music, live tattooing and piercing. It's so amazing. And I got all of this free! I just need to pay for gas and maybe some food, and definitely for going out afterwards too.
All thanks to Starlight Tattoo for providing these free tickets. If you have a myspace, add them! They're a growing company in Las Vegas. Even tattoo'd a few celebrities. ;) And their shop is amazing! Inside the Mandalay Bay, walls completely made of glass so everyone can see what's going on! Really hip, really modern, extremely skilled. I absolutely love that place. <3
Did I mention I'd get a little shopping in? ;) I want to hit up the Playboy store! Gotta love bunnies.
I will be taking my camera with me! Hopefully get some footage for my youtube, and then some for my little side projects which will be launching here soon.
So, until next time! PEACE!
I got free tickets to this years Biggest Tattoo Expo on Earth in the Mandalay Bay Hotel and Casino. Whoot whoot! I'm super excited because last time me and the bestie went it was more for a future job aspect for her. This time, we're going for pure fun! And it's suppose to be a lovely 80 and up the whole time we are there, so my snowboarder boyfriend can't complain about how hot is when it was 80 almost all of September here. Anyways, back to the expo! I'm super excited to go because I've always been interested in tattoos. It runs in my family. My dad has quite a few jesters (scary ones!) and my mom has a peace sign and a daisy. Grandpa... Well, he just got his... fifth one, I think. So, as you can see, my family is really supportive in the whole body art thing and now that I'm old enough to feel like I can make a clean decision on a respectful piece, why not check out all my options at the expo? They're going to have a historic tattoo museum, booths galore, music, live tattooing and piercing. It's so amazing. And I got all of this free! I just need to pay for gas and maybe some food, and definitely for going out afterwards too.
All thanks to Starlight Tattoo for providing these free tickets. If you have a myspace, add them! They're a growing company in Las Vegas. Even tattoo'd a few celebrities. ;) And their shop is amazing! Inside the Mandalay Bay, walls completely made of glass so everyone can see what's going on! Really hip, really modern, extremely skilled. I absolutely love that place. <3
Did I mention I'd get a little shopping in? ;) I want to hit up the Playboy store! Gotta love bunnies.
I will be taking my camera with me! Hopefully get some footage for my youtube, and then some for my little side projects which will be launching here soon.
So, until next time! PEACE!
Monday, September 28, 2009
Why Hello
Oh, it has been a while hasn't it?
Well, let's see what I've been up to, shall we?
I got a new job. Don't work very much due to lack of hours for everyone, but the manager says winter will bring about at least a full shift. It's paying most of the bills, I guess. I just need to get a few more hours than four a week! Yikes. But I think that is just for this week. Normally it's about eight or twelve hours a week.
I did a photo shoot for a jewelry catalog recently. The pictures are AMAZING. I can't wait until the website is updated and the catalog comes out. It was a lot of fun to do. Very hard work getting the right angles and poses to compliment the jewelry, though. I usually ended up passing out every night during movie time.
Been busy getting ready for the Freaker's Ball. It should be really amazing this year. Or I so I hope. I've only been dreaming about going for over two years now! Ever since I started working at Montbleu back in the day, everyone would always tell me to go to Freaker's Ball. And for the past two years it was, "Hello? I'm not twenty one!" NOT THIS YEAR, BABY! I am so excited. Curtis is excited as well, he has refused to go the whole time we've been dating. So, this will be his first Freaker's Ball as well. I will also be attending it with my cousins, two freshly turned twenty-one year olds, and a few other fabulous people to be hanging out with. Oh, if only Hugo and Frankie weren't twenty! Those two are the best to party with.
Oh yes! Next weekend should be awesome. I got free tickets to the Biggest Tattoo Expo on Earth in Las Vegas. So it will be awesome to visit Vegas AGAIN this year. And this time have some cool excuse! Curtis has been looking to get a tattoo, I want one...someday...lol, and Candice is wanting another one on her neck line or something. So, going to this amazing Expo should be useful. And then there's all the clubs, too. =3 I want to try that sushi place... Something Pop? in the Mandalay Bay. It looks really high class awesome!
Anyhow, I've been working on a side project here and hope to have it running fairly soon. Just working out the kinks and details. Should be up soon though. Really soon. I hope to have it open before this weekends Expo.
Time to go and work on said project...
Toodles!
Well, let's see what I've been up to, shall we?
I got a new job. Don't work very much due to lack of hours for everyone, but the manager says winter will bring about at least a full shift. It's paying most of the bills, I guess. I just need to get a few more hours than four a week! Yikes. But I think that is just for this week. Normally it's about eight or twelve hours a week.
I did a photo shoot for a jewelry catalog recently. The pictures are AMAZING. I can't wait until the website is updated and the catalog comes out. It was a lot of fun to do. Very hard work getting the right angles and poses to compliment the jewelry, though. I usually ended up passing out every night during movie time.
Been busy getting ready for the Freaker's Ball. It should be really amazing this year. Or I so I hope. I've only been dreaming about going for over two years now! Ever since I started working at Montbleu back in the day, everyone would always tell me to go to Freaker's Ball. And for the past two years it was, "Hello? I'm not twenty one!" NOT THIS YEAR, BABY! I am so excited. Curtis is excited as well, he has refused to go the whole time we've been dating. So, this will be his first Freaker's Ball as well. I will also be attending it with my cousins, two freshly turned twenty-one year olds, and a few other fabulous people to be hanging out with. Oh, if only Hugo and Frankie weren't twenty! Those two are the best to party with.
Oh yes! Next weekend should be awesome. I got free tickets to the Biggest Tattoo Expo on Earth in Las Vegas. So it will be awesome to visit Vegas AGAIN this year. And this time have some cool excuse! Curtis has been looking to get a tattoo, I want one...someday...lol, and Candice is wanting another one on her neck line or something. So, going to this amazing Expo should be useful. And then there's all the clubs, too. =3 I want to try that sushi place... Something Pop? in the Mandalay Bay. It looks really high class awesome!
Anyhow, I've been working on a side project here and hope to have it running fairly soon. Just working out the kinks and details. Should be up soon though. Really soon. I hope to have it open before this weekends Expo.
Time to go and work on said project...
Toodles!
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Hm!
I really do not like my layout...
I need to get back to work on fixing it up to my own likings. I had started a while ago but that's about when I started getting computer problems.
So.
Be aware of blog layout change.
I need to get back to work on fixing it up to my own likings. I had started a while ago but that's about when I started getting computer problems.
So.
Be aware of blog layout change.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Addicted to Beauty
Oh, so I was watching Oxygen today while doing some sewing and this show about plastic surgery and spa life. I have found it... most amusing. In this episode, the sales manager started a small 'sales challange' for the front desk people and Diane, the Spa manager, had a little talk with everyone about their appearances. Can I just say oh my god. Really? This woman is insane! I don't know how she can legally get away with telling someone they need to get their teeth fixed for that job. Her poor sales manager looked so embarrassed and irritated. She told her assistant that she needed to wear more blush. And the sales challange is so awesome. I strongly believe in good hearted competition like that. It motives people to pay more attention to their customers and to their products. They don't really show much of the plastic surgery side. I suppose it's because this Dr. Lee is just more into his job where as the spa side of the business seems to be in pieces and more entertaining.
Oooh, Gary is so funny and yet so annoying. "How else may I lick your ass today?" And now I am watching one of the worst dates ever. Poor Natasha! Anyhow. This Shannyn person is amazing and seems to be the only one with a business head on her shoulders.
I really like the whole spa/plastic surgery combination they did there. It was smart. They saw a need and filled it. Hey, why not get a facial or a tan before your appointment to get your breast fixed or something? Genius idea.
In my vision, I see me teaming up with a spa and a gym. Buy a new outfit at my store, go work out in the gym, and then relax and cool off at the spa after that long day. Maybe get a Jamba Juice or some local smoothie place to join in the fun of self-empowering, feel good time. Aaah, now to just find the perfect place for this and to finish my schooling. I'm actually looking so forward to being my own boss that it motivates me to no end. And the fact that all of this while I am still young enough to enjoy it motivates me to suck it up and just do it. No matter how nasty, how boring, how intensely insane and radical it may seem.
AAAAH! I just wrote myself into more motivation! Come on store, call me back so I can show you how eager I am in the retail business. Argh, I am so eager and ready for this job.
Ew, The Notebook is on now.
I think I will finish up this blog and get back to my sewing. I finished a dress in two days. I am so proud of myself. It actually looks really cute with the sunflowers and black accents. So, I need to go and practice some more. ;D Especially if I am going to make my Alice dress before Halloween.
Love lots
Oooh, Gary is so funny and yet so annoying. "How else may I lick your ass today?" And now I am watching one of the worst dates ever. Poor Natasha! Anyhow. This Shannyn person is amazing and seems to be the only one with a business head on her shoulders.
I really like the whole spa/plastic surgery combination they did there. It was smart. They saw a need and filled it. Hey, why not get a facial or a tan before your appointment to get your breast fixed or something? Genius idea.
In my vision, I see me teaming up with a spa and a gym. Buy a new outfit at my store, go work out in the gym, and then relax and cool off at the spa after that long day. Maybe get a Jamba Juice or some local smoothie place to join in the fun of self-empowering, feel good time. Aaah, now to just find the perfect place for this and to finish my schooling. I'm actually looking so forward to being my own boss that it motivates me to no end. And the fact that all of this while I am still young enough to enjoy it motivates me to suck it up and just do it. No matter how nasty, how boring, how intensely insane and radical it may seem.
AAAAH! I just wrote myself into more motivation! Come on store, call me back so I can show you how eager I am in the retail business. Argh, I am so eager and ready for this job.
Ew, The Notebook is on now.
I think I will finish up this blog and get back to my sewing. I finished a dress in two days. I am so proud of myself. It actually looks really cute with the sunflowers and black accents. So, I need to go and practice some more. ;D Especially if I am going to make my Alice dress before Halloween.
Love lots
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Jobs, Jobs, Jobs... Concerts
So I recently applied at a place here. And as soon as the lady called me and set up an interview, I was so regretting applying there. It really was not the job for me. It was like on the other universe of what I want to do with my life.
Today in the interview, I decided I would suck it up. Money was money and sooner or later I could leave for what I really desire. Until she said the store manager wanted me to work at Starbucks. Hell to the no. I cannot remember a drink combination to save my life! I barely remember MY favorite combination at Starbucks. So, she insisted I think about it. Even after me explaining I could never remember everything and that job required good memory.
Anyhow!
I already found a job I would like. It's just they said they weren't hiring just yet (even though they have a 'apply now!' sign in the window?) but they would be in a few weeks. So, I'm guessing some of their staff is living for school in California or something. That's what my friend does. Comes home for the summer/Christmas and then goes back. Whatever, as I was saying! It looks like an okay in between job! I just want monies to save up and pay rent while I work on my own real goals. I don't want to level up or anything. Except for a raise. ;D
Homigosh! There are soo many concerts this month I would really love to attend! Nickelback, SoCal festival, Marilyn Manson, GREEN DAY! Although I have seen both Nickelback/Hinder and Green Day before, I would still love to see them all again. Especially seeing as they all have new albums. Except for Linkin Park who is playing at the SoCal festival. So, that's one reason I would like a job really really soon. All of these BIG concerts cost money. I miss the old days when I liked ten dollar concert bands, you know? Ha, ha, ha. I still do, but now I save those ten dollars for the big boys.
Mmm, Chester Bennington!
Today in the interview, I decided I would suck it up. Money was money and sooner or later I could leave for what I really desire. Until she said the store manager wanted me to work at Starbucks. Hell to the no. I cannot remember a drink combination to save my life! I barely remember MY favorite combination at Starbucks. So, she insisted I think about it. Even after me explaining I could never remember everything and that job required good memory.
Anyhow!
I already found a job I would like. It's just they said they weren't hiring just yet (even though they have a 'apply now!' sign in the window?) but they would be in a few weeks. So, I'm guessing some of their staff is living for school in California or something. That's what my friend does. Comes home for the summer/Christmas and then goes back. Whatever, as I was saying! It looks like an okay in between job! I just want monies to save up and pay rent while I work on my own real goals. I don't want to level up or anything. Except for a raise. ;D
Homigosh! There are soo many concerts this month I would really love to attend! Nickelback, SoCal festival, Marilyn Manson, GREEN DAY! Although I have seen both Nickelback/Hinder and Green Day before, I would still love to see them all again. Especially seeing as they all have new albums. Except for Linkin Park who is playing at the SoCal festival. So, that's one reason I would like a job really really soon. All of these BIG concerts cost money. I miss the old days when I liked ten dollar concert bands, you know? Ha, ha, ha. I still do, but now I save those ten dollars for the big boys.
Mmm, Chester Bennington!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Friday Was Amazing
I am officially in love with Gwen Stefani. She is a most amazing woman! Fantastic live! The whole band was amazing. I could not have dreamt of a better No Doubt concert than the one they had put on. So much energy and so much talent! I absolutely adore them and it was worth the long, many years of waiting for them to go on tour again!
Even sitting in the smoldering California heat was worth it!
Paramore was alright. However I don't really care for them much. Too... teeny for me. The Sounds were amazing and I want to buy one of their CDs now. That blonde chick was a good singer and very entertaining! I got some excellent videos of all of the performers. Especially No Doubt. I'll be uploading them soon enough. Squee.
It was so fun with Curtis, Venice and Liz. I forgot how much I love concert going! I want to go to Nickelback next month. Mmmmm!
Even sitting in the smoldering California heat was worth it!
Paramore was alright. However I don't really care for them much. Too... teeny for me. The Sounds were amazing and I want to buy one of their CDs now. That blonde chick was a good singer and very entertaining! I got some excellent videos of all of the performers. Especially No Doubt. I'll be uploading them soon enough. Squee.
It was so fun with Curtis, Venice and Liz. I forgot how much I love concert going! I want to go to Nickelback next month. Mmmmm!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Oh, I Need to Update.
I'm watching Herculces.
This movie is amazing. I love Greek Mythology.
Anyway.
I stopped the detox because it was being all weird and perhaps I was doing it right. I felt all sicky and my energy was practically zero the whole time. So, eased back off and am now just going to the gym every other day. But oh well! It's not like I need to lose any pounds! That's what those detoxes seem like to most people, especially arrogent people. It's actually something to clean out your body and blood stream. The gym is lovely. I love working out. It's so thrilling and actually gives me some energy.
You know what's funny?
When people start blogs 'for their family' but they never seem to get any comments or anything? Makes me wonder if they are who they say are! I mean, it's the internet and anyone could pose as someone else. In fact, I don't believe SHE'S a she at all. I think she's an imaginary person. I mean honestly... I don't know ANYONE who has obsessed over someone's ex as I'm told this person does. I've had a friend not like her man's ex, but never start a slam book about her, constantly thinking about her boyfriend's ex... I don't know. Seems fishy to me. But, I don't like to look. Because it's just a waste of time to worry about someone else's denial and harsh words. I mean, I wouldn't waste my time posting about how much I hated my old boss. That'd be like 24 hours of pure wasted time! Besides, we may have been ignored for the least part, but we still got what we wanted; them. ^__^ Chew on that.
SO!
I have gotten a lot done lately! Especially considering how busy I have been. I finally got my new sewing machine and it has been working like a dream! I've got like 56 stitch options, the bobbin is easy to load, it's pretty quiet... Aaah, finally things are falling through for me. I can continue work on my designs and my ultimate goal. So, they got side tracked for a little over a month. Big deal! I'm getting closer and closer to my dream as each day goes by.
The beach is amazing. I love living like five minutes from it. We go every week, if not every other day. The puppy loves it too! He hates the cold water, but loves digging and socializing with all of the other dogs. I live in the most beautiful place in the world! Especially in Nevada. Every else here is just disgusting and pointless. Especially Dayton! Yuck, white trashville. The only thing Reno has going for it is the malls and nicer casinos. But it's just a mini Vegas. Which we all know is crackville. ;D But, it's alright... Everyone needs one of those places so the nicer places, like where I am, seem even better. Too bad about all the snow, though!
Anyways, Friday will be most amazing. We've got a fanastic day lined up. Spending the whole day with three of my favorite people, seeing my top favorite band... What more could I ask for? I'm living my life how I please and it's perfect. I don't need to be 'doing something' to keep me happy. I'm perfectly content with just being me and living freely. Rather than being wrapped up in a job that doesn't really satisfy me. Ugh. I do miss all the Childrens Museum, however. It was pretty funny teaching kids about stuff and hanging around them all day. But I am young! So I can do just about anything I want seeing as when I do work, I work something I like and I do it extremely well. I'm also smart about spending and my bills, so I have no money worries. Like a lot of people out there. Poor guys.
But hey! I was taught well and not everyone has that.
Anyways! I have to go get some real stuff done! Got to stop wasting time on blogging.
;) Laters.
This movie is amazing. I love Greek Mythology.
Anyway.
I stopped the detox because it was being all weird and perhaps I was doing it right. I felt all sicky and my energy was practically zero the whole time. So, eased back off and am now just going to the gym every other day. But oh well! It's not like I need to lose any pounds! That's what those detoxes seem like to most people, especially arrogent people. It's actually something to clean out your body and blood stream. The gym is lovely. I love working out. It's so thrilling and actually gives me some energy.
You know what's funny?
When people start blogs 'for their family' but they never seem to get any comments or anything? Makes me wonder if they are who they say are! I mean, it's the internet and anyone could pose as someone else. In fact, I don't believe SHE'S a she at all. I think she's an imaginary person. I mean honestly... I don't know ANYONE who has obsessed over someone's ex as I'm told this person does. I've had a friend not like her man's ex, but never start a slam book about her, constantly thinking about her boyfriend's ex... I don't know. Seems fishy to me. But, I don't like to look. Because it's just a waste of time to worry about someone else's denial and harsh words. I mean, I wouldn't waste my time posting about how much I hated my old boss. That'd be like 24 hours of pure wasted time! Besides, we may have been ignored for the least part, but we still got what we wanted; them. ^__^ Chew on that.
SO!
I have gotten a lot done lately! Especially considering how busy I have been. I finally got my new sewing machine and it has been working like a dream! I've got like 56 stitch options, the bobbin is easy to load, it's pretty quiet... Aaah, finally things are falling through for me. I can continue work on my designs and my ultimate goal. So, they got side tracked for a little over a month. Big deal! I'm getting closer and closer to my dream as each day goes by.
The beach is amazing. I love living like five minutes from it. We go every week, if not every other day. The puppy loves it too! He hates the cold water, but loves digging and socializing with all of the other dogs. I live in the most beautiful place in the world! Especially in Nevada. Every else here is just disgusting and pointless. Especially Dayton! Yuck, white trashville. The only thing Reno has going for it is the malls and nicer casinos. But it's just a mini Vegas. Which we all know is crackville. ;D But, it's alright... Everyone needs one of those places so the nicer places, like where I am, seem even better. Too bad about all the snow, though!
Anyways, Friday will be most amazing. We've got a fanastic day lined up. Spending the whole day with three of my favorite people, seeing my top favorite band... What more could I ask for? I'm living my life how I please and it's perfect. I don't need to be 'doing something' to keep me happy. I'm perfectly content with just being me and living freely. Rather than being wrapped up in a job that doesn't really satisfy me. Ugh. I do miss all the Childrens Museum, however. It was pretty funny teaching kids about stuff and hanging around them all day. But I am young! So I can do just about anything I want seeing as when I do work, I work something I like and I do it extremely well. I'm also smart about spending and my bills, so I have no money worries. Like a lot of people out there. Poor guys.
But hey! I was taught well and not everyone has that.
Anyways! I have to go get some real stuff done! Got to stop wasting time on blogging.
;) Laters.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Review of Day 3 on the Master Cleanse
Orange juice and maple syrup;
Yesterday was not so bad. I drank two liters of the orange juice and maple syrup mixture. It actually made me feel pretty full all of the time. I was no longer feeling dizzy and actually woke up feeling happy and light. So, the headache went away once I finally rested.
I've been drinking water like crazy. Which is nothing really new, I am a big water drinker. The only problem I've been having is all the bathroom stops! Gosh.
So yesterday was Curtis's day off. I never realize how much time we spend together just eating. It's like an intimate affair of some sort. I felt really lonely and disgruntled whenever he was eating and I was not. I guess dinner and lunch, any food time, is more like a social thing than actually eating to nourish my body. Although, I do try and eat healthy. No fried chicken, hardly any red meat, salads when they look good. So, as I sat in torture while Curtis was eating his really good smelling chili dog at Burgers-N-Such, I couldn't help but be grumpy, jealous, lonesome. I had nothing to do but pray for the next few days to come quickly. I wanted to enjoy food with him, with my grandpa, with my sister. I could never see how aneroxic people do it! It felt so awful not joining in, I felt like everyone was watching me.
Luckily though, everyone is somewhat supportive of my detox. I just wish I felt the same now! I think it would have been much better to just stay home with my little detox thing. I wouldn't have to smell food or have to explain why I wasn't eating without feeling like people doubted it was really that.
Now it's on to the actual detox! The lemonade, cayenne pepper, and maple syrup! I hope I can survive.
For those of you interested, here's the REAL master cleanse. I'm doing some weird Ease In adaption.
http://www.mastercleanser.com/
Yesterday was not so bad. I drank two liters of the orange juice and maple syrup mixture. It actually made me feel pretty full all of the time. I was no longer feeling dizzy and actually woke up feeling happy and light. So, the headache went away once I finally rested.
I've been drinking water like crazy. Which is nothing really new, I am a big water drinker. The only problem I've been having is all the bathroom stops! Gosh.
So yesterday was Curtis's day off. I never realize how much time we spend together just eating. It's like an intimate affair of some sort. I felt really lonely and disgruntled whenever he was eating and I was not. I guess dinner and lunch, any food time, is more like a social thing than actually eating to nourish my body. Although, I do try and eat healthy. No fried chicken, hardly any red meat, salads when they look good. So, as I sat in torture while Curtis was eating his really good smelling chili dog at Burgers-N-Such, I couldn't help but be grumpy, jealous, lonesome. I had nothing to do but pray for the next few days to come quickly. I wanted to enjoy food with him, with my grandpa, with my sister. I could never see how aneroxic people do it! It felt so awful not joining in, I felt like everyone was watching me.
Luckily though, everyone is somewhat supportive of my detox. I just wish I felt the same now! I think it would have been much better to just stay home with my little detox thing. I wouldn't have to smell food or have to explain why I wasn't eating without feeling like people doubted it was really that.
Now it's on to the actual detox! The lemonade, cayenne pepper, and maple syrup! I hope I can survive.
For those of you interested, here's the REAL master cleanse. I'm doing some weird Ease In adaption.
http://www.mastercleanser.com/
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Review of Master Cleanse Day Two
Fruit Juice and/or Broth;
I. miss. food. I miss the texture, the smell, the taste! I crave meat so bad it's crazy! I drank nothing but a million pounds of water and fruit juice! So, Candice suggested I make some broth and just try to satisfy my meat craving with that. I boiled a cup and half of water (to keep it watered down) and not even a full teaspoon left of my chicken bullion. Oh man, it felt so good drinking something so close to eating chicken.
And then Curtis got home from work and I was begging him to get me a chicken taco. But he's being supportive and said he would not help me ruin what I started. Unless I drove there myself. He knew I wouldn't. And perhaps I really would have if I wasn't so dizzy from the horrible headache I had gotten. But, then again, now that I think about... Day Two was probably the worst so far. The first day not having solid foods? Yeah, pure torture.
Let me tell you. I have never wanted to deep clean my bathroom as I did yesterday! Drinking all that liquid made me and my friend the restroom very friendly. The floor is horridly dirty! And I just mopped! Hopefully I'll have the energy to clean it in the following days seeing as Day Two left me curled up on the couch nursing my hungry, painful mind. I think THINKING I was so hungry was what made the headache.
I don't know... maybe this master cleanse thing makes you go insane also?
Also, my lovely aunt found at that Gwyneth Paltrow has also done the Master Cleanse and is on a 'different' sort of cleanse this month. =( Wish I had heard of her new one before me and Candice dove into this! I can handle salads and smoothies for a week!
Read the short article here!
I. miss. food. I miss the texture, the smell, the taste! I crave meat so bad it's crazy! I drank nothing but a million pounds of water and fruit juice! So, Candice suggested I make some broth and just try to satisfy my meat craving with that. I boiled a cup and half of water (to keep it watered down) and not even a full teaspoon left of my chicken bullion. Oh man, it felt so good drinking something so close to eating chicken.
And then Curtis got home from work and I was begging him to get me a chicken taco. But he's being supportive and said he would not help me ruin what I started. Unless I drove there myself. He knew I wouldn't. And perhaps I really would have if I wasn't so dizzy from the horrible headache I had gotten. But, then again, now that I think about... Day Two was probably the worst so far. The first day not having solid foods? Yeah, pure torture.
Let me tell you. I have never wanted to deep clean my bathroom as I did yesterday! Drinking all that liquid made me and my friend the restroom very friendly. The floor is horridly dirty! And I just mopped! Hopefully I'll have the energy to clean it in the following days seeing as Day Two left me curled up on the couch nursing my hungry, painful mind. I think THINKING I was so hungry was what made the headache.
I don't know... maybe this master cleanse thing makes you go insane also?
Also, my lovely aunt found at that Gwyneth Paltrow has also done the Master Cleanse and is on a 'different' sort of cleanse this month. =( Wish I had heard of her new one before me and Candice dove into this! I can handle salads and smoothies for a week!
Read the short article here!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Review of Day 1 on the Master Cleanse
Day One; Fruits and Vegetables only
So, yesterday was day one of this 'cleanse'. Pure. Torture.
Honestly, you never know what foods you do and do not like until you go on a cleanse and you either a) have to eat them or b) aren't allowed to eat them. I cannot tell you how much I gagged after eating a raw celery. I really do not like celery by itself. Throw some peanut butter or ranch or something on it and I'm all set! Throw it in stew! But please, do not offer it by itself. And I also found out that cherries are somewhat of a laxitive? That or my tummy just hurt from pretend hunger pangs.
Anyways, so because it's a hard habit to break, eating solids and what not, I had a difficult time yesterday with just fruit and veggies. I ended up snacking all day on this fruit and some carrots. The carrots were somewhat slimy so I was kind of afraid of them. But hey, Frappuccino loved them. He's the weirdest dog ever, loving carrots. Anyways, back to the diet talk.
Yesterday I looked up to see if it was wise or not to work out while on such low carbs. No, definitely not a good idea to do anything that will tax your heart. A website suggested mild walking/jogging, swimming, and easy cycling. So, me and Frappy go on walks to 'help the process'. I'd like to get a treadmill someday, for those rainy days and days the stupid trail is closed. Like today. They're tearing down trees on my nice little trail! How am I suppose to 'help the process along' if I can only go a few feet back and forth? LAME.
So, I decided to do some vlogging about it too. I think I'll upload the video soon. I planned on doing both, blog and youtube updates so people can get a good feel for it. Like I said in my video, I type better than I speak. And I planned that at the end of this crazy 12 day cleanse I'll compile all of the videos into one and then BAM instant easy watching. Or something like that. I'm not sure.
Anyways. I'll probably blog later tonight about this Day Two. Hopefully I can last because right now... I have to turn off the tv to stop being taunted by the KFC commercial. And I don't even like KFC!
So, check back laterzzzz.
PS!
So, yesterday was day one of this 'cleanse'. Pure. Torture.
Honestly, you never know what foods you do and do not like until you go on a cleanse and you either a) have to eat them or b) aren't allowed to eat them. I cannot tell you how much I gagged after eating a raw celery. I really do not like celery by itself. Throw some peanut butter or ranch or something on it and I'm all set! Throw it in stew! But please, do not offer it by itself. And I also found out that cherries are somewhat of a laxitive? That or my tummy just hurt from pretend hunger pangs.
Anyways, so because it's a hard habit to break, eating solids and what not, I had a difficult time yesterday with just fruit and veggies. I ended up snacking all day on this fruit and some carrots. The carrots were somewhat slimy so I was kind of afraid of them. But hey, Frappuccino loved them. He's the weirdest dog ever, loving carrots. Anyways, back to the diet talk.
Yesterday I looked up to see if it was wise or not to work out while on such low carbs. No, definitely not a good idea to do anything that will tax your heart. A website suggested mild walking/jogging, swimming, and easy cycling. So, me and Frappy go on walks to 'help the process'. I'd like to get a treadmill someday, for those rainy days and days the stupid trail is closed. Like today. They're tearing down trees on my nice little trail! How am I suppose to 'help the process along' if I can only go a few feet back and forth? LAME.
So, I decided to do some vlogging about it too. I think I'll upload the video soon. I planned on doing both, blog and youtube updates so people can get a good feel for it. Like I said in my video, I type better than I speak. And I planned that at the end of this crazy 12 day cleanse I'll compile all of the videos into one and then BAM instant easy watching. Or something like that. I'm not sure.
Anyways. I'll probably blog later tonight about this Day Two. Hopefully I can last because right now... I have to turn off the tv to stop being taunted by the KFC commercial. And I don't even like KFC!
So, check back laterzzzz.
PS!
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
The Master Cleanse
How it started;
So my friend was asking me if I had ever heard of this Master Cleanse aka the Lemonade Cleanse. I did some looking up for her and then left it at that, not really interested in a fancy way of starving myself. Then she had mentioned something about her wanting to try it. Then when Candice had told her boyfriend about her wanting to do it, he said she couldn't last. Well, upon hearing this, I decided to join my friend in her struggle to complete a cleanse/diet thing. Plus, it's only a week. I was/am determined to complete this thing with her, help her accomplish something! And along way, hopefully clear up some of my acne. You can only do so much on the outside, time to help heal the inside, right?
What it is;
The lemonade cleanse. At first, I thought, "Oh man! I like lemonade!" But when I saw what was needed in this lemonade in order for you to be cleansed but still get the everyday requirements for living. Maple syrup and cayanne pepper?! In LEMONADE? This truly disturbed me, but I have a mission to complete.
Anyways, there are three parts to this cleanse. Two of which are required to do.
The first is the Ease In; the first three days ease you into not eating. Day one is strict fruits and veggies only. The second, strict fruits or veggies juice OR just veggie broth. The third day is orange juice!
Next is the Cleanse; this is when you start to really get to the dirty hard part! Drinking only the 'lemonade' stuff as your meals and then washing it all out with a salt water drink at night. Salt water cannot mix with anything in your body and has to leave instantly. Sounds great, right? So, this goes on day and night for about a week (or as long as you can/can't stand).
Then you go backwords with the Ease Out; which is the Ease In, only preformed backwords so you are slowly reintroduced back onto solid food! This part is one of the most importants. If you rush back onto food, you're stomach will disagree. And that is not pleasant, I am sure.
So today is day one!
I'll blog about it tomorrow, right now I am beat! But I have some cleaning up to do and gotta take the doggie out and all this silly house wife like stuff!
So my friend was asking me if I had ever heard of this Master Cleanse aka the Lemonade Cleanse. I did some looking up for her and then left it at that, not really interested in a fancy way of starving myself. Then she had mentioned something about her wanting to try it. Then when Candice had told her boyfriend about her wanting to do it, he said she couldn't last. Well, upon hearing this, I decided to join my friend in her struggle to complete a cleanse/diet thing. Plus, it's only a week. I was/am determined to complete this thing with her, help her accomplish something! And along way, hopefully clear up some of my acne. You can only do so much on the outside, time to help heal the inside, right?
What it is;
The lemonade cleanse. At first, I thought, "Oh man! I like lemonade!" But when I saw what was needed in this lemonade in order for you to be cleansed but still get the everyday requirements for living. Maple syrup and cayanne pepper?! In LEMONADE? This truly disturbed me, but I have a mission to complete.
Anyways, there are three parts to this cleanse. Two of which are required to do.
The first is the Ease In; the first three days ease you into not eating. Day one is strict fruits and veggies only. The second, strict fruits or veggies juice OR just veggie broth. The third day is orange juice!
Next is the Cleanse; this is when you start to really get to the dirty hard part! Drinking only the 'lemonade' stuff as your meals and then washing it all out with a salt water drink at night. Salt water cannot mix with anything in your body and has to leave instantly. Sounds great, right? So, this goes on day and night for about a week (or as long as you can/can't stand).
Then you go backwords with the Ease Out; which is the Ease In, only preformed backwords so you are slowly reintroduced back onto solid food! This part is one of the most importants. If you rush back onto food, you're stomach will disagree. And that is not pleasant, I am sure.
So today is day one!
I'll blog about it tomorrow, right now I am beat! But I have some cleaning up to do and gotta take the doggie out and all this silly house wife like stuff!
Monday, June 29, 2009
A Little Bit Crazy
Wow, it's been a while since I have written. I am so sad about that. Guess I just have not really been in a 'on the internet' mood lately. I've just been playing around with my graphic tablet, spending time with my friends and family, just out there living. That is why I quit my job after all. I felt like I was missing out on my life, on being me. So, I have been reconnecting with myself. It has been so nice, so relaxing, so comforting to find myself again. I've found things that I lost while working so hard.
So!
I've been really working on what I want to do, thinking and planning! I just ordered a beautiful new sewing machine, I am so excited for it to arrive. I cannot wait to play around the settings and finally get to use a stitch design other than straight! I've always been working on my drawings lately, I switched up my style to something I'm a little bit better at. I started a Zazzle.com account and am planning on adding some of my pictures to it here soon. I just need to create some more. After I'm done setting up the home page of my Zazzle, I will share it with you. I'm really excited about it, especially seeing as I have so many online friends in different states and Countries. I hope it will be easier to show off my stuff.
Also, I'm thinking of submitting a video to America's Next Top Model for Cycle 13. Or 14. I don't know what the end date of 13 is so... I just thought it be fun to try! They have changed some of the rules for it. Now instead of having to be 5'7" and up, it's 5'7" and down! Not that that matters for me, I'm exactly 5'7". I'm not a stick figure girl but I also am not a plus size. So, I'm somewhere in between and if I ever did get picked, I'd be glad to be representing all the NORMAL girls. It's not fair that we have to be subjected either size two and lower, or we have to be size ten and up! Whatever happened to those girls 3 through 9? Believe it or not, most girls age 18 through 29 are between those sizes.
Now I'm just getting fired up! Silly me. =3
Anyhow. I'm really excited in general. Even if I end up getting another job, I'm excited to learn something new and meet new people. Life right now is just one big adventure and I am welcoming it full on.
So!
I've been really working on what I want to do, thinking and planning! I just ordered a beautiful new sewing machine, I am so excited for it to arrive. I cannot wait to play around the settings and finally get to use a stitch design other than straight! I've always been working on my drawings lately, I switched up my style to something I'm a little bit better at. I started a Zazzle.com account and am planning on adding some of my pictures to it here soon. I just need to create some more. After I'm done setting up the home page of my Zazzle, I will share it with you. I'm really excited about it, especially seeing as I have so many online friends in different states and Countries. I hope it will be easier to show off my stuff.
Also, I'm thinking of submitting a video to America's Next Top Model for Cycle 13. Or 14. I don't know what the end date of 13 is so... I just thought it be fun to try! They have changed some of the rules for it. Now instead of having to be 5'7" and up, it's 5'7" and down! Not that that matters for me, I'm exactly 5'7". I'm not a stick figure girl but I also am not a plus size. So, I'm somewhere in between and if I ever did get picked, I'd be glad to be representing all the NORMAL girls. It's not fair that we have to be subjected either size two and lower, or we have to be size ten and up! Whatever happened to those girls 3 through 9? Believe it or not, most girls age 18 through 29 are between those sizes.
Now I'm just getting fired up! Silly me. =3
Anyhow. I'm really excited in general. Even if I end up getting another job, I'm excited to learn something new and meet new people. Life right now is just one big adventure and I am welcoming it full on.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
A Beary Day
Tee hee.
I drew this for a random person on a forum. Her little avatar is dressed as a grizzly bear and I wanted the challenge of drawing fur. Well, the fur ending up looking...well, harsh. So I deleted the fur layer and decided to just do an airbrush look.
I really like it. Grizzly bears are surprisingly easy to draw. The puppy gave me some difficulty, but I just drew him twice and then called it done. Over all... I THINK IT'S SO CUTE.
Anyways, in other news.
I was looking at local dogs to adopt today. I do not know why I torture myself with doing this! I can't stand to see doggies without homes. Sigh. I want another dog. I have Frappy and absolute love him. But I'd like a friend/family member for him who isn't a turtle stuck in a tank until he's big enough to not be gnawed on. Plus, I want a big dog to cuddle with too!
Well. I happened to find the most beautiful 9 month old husky/wolf mix. She's absolute adorable and I want her! Too bad I do not own or even rent a place with a yard. Otherwise she'd be mine in a heart beat. I have all the time for a husky. Just no yard. Sigh...
Anyways. I babysat Abby last night and we picked out a movie on xBox Live to watch and I was going to sit down and SEW.
Too bad I used up all of my fleece! UGH!
I could have swore I had a large stock of fleece. So, my sewing plans were canceled. I was really disappointed. I had this idea of what I could do to start earning some more money for my new sewing machine and yet here I was, nine o'clock at night, with no materiel to use. Depressing! But I still feel hope. I plan on going to Carson soon to stock up on my fleeeeece for this rad idea I had.
I might draw some pictures and show you the idea rather than tell you. ;]
Alexis
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Graphic Tablets are fun!
Oh yeah, bby~!
Look what I did for three hours!
Curtis and I got a new graphic tablet for our computer. It will aid me in my drawing and stuff. Now I just need a scanner for all those pictures I draw in notebooks! Then I can use my graphic tablet to edit them to my liking, color them in, whatever, you know? I can't wait to start designing! I've already got some ideas in my head...
My main goal in this picture was to learn all of my tools. And considering it's my first drawing on a really good Art program, I'm somewhat really happy with the results. His skin turned out A LOT better than I could have hoped. Of course, my drawing skills/style could be improved. But hey, drawing on a graphic tablet is hard. You have to get use to NOT looking at your hand as you draw. Do you know how hard that is?
Man, I've got a hand cramp!
Monday, April 27, 2009
Meh.
Still feeling weird, if you know what I mean. I thought I felt sick, but I think I'm just so dizzy right now that it's really messing with my body, you know? I went for a jog, hoping maybe some exercise would help, fresh air too. But alas. No. I feel slightly worse. My head is spinning and it's causing me to feel motion sickness. How awful.
Mom sent this to me:
Mom sent this to me:
Always keep several
get well cards on the mantle...
So if unexpected guests arrive,
They will think you've been sick
and unable to clean
get well cards on the mantle...
So if unexpected guests arrive,
They will think you've been sick
and unable to clean
The idea of it reminded me of Shiela. Haha. Because we're always saying how we should clean our house and do all this stuff but never want to/feel like it/feel good.
Anyways. I'm in the mood to write, so... I shall stop wasting that mood here and start putting it to good use!
Expect a better post later tonight/tomorrow/Wednesday. LOL
Alexis
Anyways. I'm in the mood to write, so... I shall stop wasting that mood here and start putting it to good use!
Expect a better post later tonight/tomorrow/Wednesday. LOL
Alexis
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Filler post
So, I'm planning on doing some designs (by hand) today to get started on my new 'project' as I like to call it when WHAM! It hits me so hard I'm sniffling. I feel dizzy with any movement and I just might throw up the small lunch I ate. I've got such a bad head ache that lights and even my keyboard noise is effecting it.
I was going to do a nice lovely post on this Product(red)/40 Hours thing that a friend and I are going to try and make happen. But I can't sit here anymore. The pills I took are wearing off.
So, if I feel better... Expect a nice big post tomorrow, alright?
Alexis
I was going to do a nice lovely post on this Product(red)/40 Hours thing that a friend and I are going to try and make happen. But I can't sit here anymore. The pills I took are wearing off.
So, if I feel better... Expect a nice big post tomorrow, alright?
Alexis
Thursday, April 23, 2009
New Beginnings
Today I am finally doing something I should have been for the past three months of not working; getting my future in gear.
I'm finally opening emails and writing people back, looking at websites mother has sent me, and browsing around sewing blogs. I feel really inspired today. I have a found a sewing machine I my consider buying, looking at some exciting creations others have created, and am getting some writing done. All in all... I feel really good and confident about myself, finally.
I feel like I've got a project that I can finally be proud of because it's part of me. Because I'm going to put my whole heart into. I just need the right stuff.
This sewing machine looks pretty nice. And it says it's for beginners who wish to up their level, which I do, and has a button maker which was my main request. Along with zigzag design and perhaps something to work with stretchy material! And it says it does all of that. My only worry is that it's a Brother. I had a bad experience with a Brother machine once and swore them off for life. But so far, all of the reviews have promised it's being reliable and useful, especially for my level of sewing (which is in between beginner and intermediate). Could be promising. Plus, it's from Costco. They have EXCELLENT return policies.
I also still want my graphic tablet. I want to create some sketches but don't feel like wasting a tree. ;]
Oh yes, happy Earth day!
I'm finally opening emails and writing people back, looking at websites mother has sent me, and browsing around sewing blogs. I feel really inspired today. I have a found a sewing machine I my consider buying, looking at some exciting creations others have created, and am getting some writing done. All in all... I feel really good and confident about myself, finally.
I feel like I've got a project that I can finally be proud of because it's part of me. Because I'm going to put my whole heart into. I just need the right stuff.
This sewing machine looks pretty nice. And it says it's for beginners who wish to up their level, which I do, and has a button maker which was my main request. Along with zigzag design and perhaps something to work with stretchy material! And it says it does all of that. My only worry is that it's a Brother. I had a bad experience with a Brother machine once and swore them off for life. But so far, all of the reviews have promised it's being reliable and useful, especially for my level of sewing (which is in between beginner and intermediate). Could be promising. Plus, it's from Costco. They have EXCELLENT return policies.
I also still want my graphic tablet. I want to create some sketches but don't feel like wasting a tree. ;]
Oh yes, happy Earth day!
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Aaaah! New Career Thought
Okay, this is the part of me that I put into my info. The part where I get a new idea, go crazy with it, then give up when it starts getting too hard. But I do not want to give up this time! I am determined to make it work until I've bled! No, just kidding. I mean, make it work until it's either my career or I've decided that I don't like it (and not because it's too hard). I'm twenty-one and need to stop being such a baby about things and take some chances! It IS scary right now because of the lack of jobs and money not going around like it use to, but I just need to get over that fear of being broke. Because I wont be! I'll rich in happiness from doing things I've wanted to do!
^^^^ Doesn't that sound like half pep-talk half scared shiz-less?
Anyways, the other day I was helping a girl on a forum find some knee high socks with baby blue ribbons on them. When I asked her what they were for she said she was being a 'magical girl' to an anime/gaming convention she was going to. She showed me the shoes she had picked out, probably the cutest shoes I've seen. When I explained that I loved putting outfits together and that I use to make costumes for a play, she enlisted my help in finding a dress/top to go along. It took a few days of squealing and giggling and admiring until I stumbled on this one and she was in love.
Well searching and sharing, her and I started talking about how cool Gothic Lolita and regular Lolita is. Lolita is a cutesy, Victorian style, made most popular in Japan. Girls often wear dresses with bows and ruffles glamour! (Bet my step-dad wishes I had wanted to be Loli while growing up ;]) Anyways, searching, searching, searching, critiquing. I started to see how some dresses where so simple and then just dressed up with lace, bows, over coats, corset like ribboning. My sewing eye had been caught! I desperately wanted to make something. I wanted to save forty bucks on a dress that I could make myself.
That's when I got to thinking. Hey, these people on eBay make about fifty and up on one Loli-Goth dress (not accounting for the really detailed ones running at about 160) and it isn't even that complicated looking. I could do it. I could do it and sell it.
I want to make some dresses like these and try my hand at some eBay. I've thought about it a long time, it's always been in the back of my mind, I just figured it would be a side hobby while owning my own clothing store someday. But now, while I'm trying to earn money for the summer so I can spend it (the summer, not money) how I wish... Why not now? Why not NOT just a hobby? What's stopping me?
Broken sewing machine
OLD sewing machine
Proper lessons
Money to start such a large investment
Let's define these.
Broken and OLD can go together;
My sewing machine is seriously so old. I think it must have survived the 50's or something. It's a nasty tea-tan color (not that looks matter, just sewing most machines are white now) and is insanely dirty on the inside. The bobbin gets ratted up underneath and tangled in the top-stitching causing me to get frustrated, annoyed, and in the end, defeated beyond recovery. I can only use 1 out of the 10? settings it has thanks to the feet being lost for good. Did I mention it wobbles? Yeah, it lost a part of the cover and now is recklessly unbalanced unless I put something under it. And I believe I am down to my last needle. All of these things CAN be fixed, for a price, but in the end... I would just like a sewing machine that can do it all and not fight with me. Is that too much to ask?
Problem resolve?:
Buy a new one. I have been wanting a new one ever since I learned how to sew. My teacher had this really cool computerized one that did just about EVERYTHING. It even threaded itself. How amazing is that? I've just been too chicken/lazy to buy a new one. I'm afraid of getting one and having it torture me. Or getting one and it breaks down (taking things back is such a pain in the arse). But I do believe it is time to invest in the sewing machine of my dreams! Now if only I could test drive them all... I've been reading this blog called A Dress A Day on picking out the right one, so hopefully I wont make a mistake! Sigh.
Proper lessons:
I've had minimal lessons on sewing and basically just winged it most of the time. So depressing. This and the broken machine are what always made me give up right away. I suppose the fact that a straight line is difficult for me to achieve was the best discouragement ever!
Problem resolve?:
I'd like to take sewing lessons again. I want to learn all the things I never knew and even the things I've already learned. I am going to see if there are any summer lessons at the college up here IF I get a new machine during the summer. Easy problem fix!
Large investment:
This would be an extreme invest to me. Almost like my apartment was. The only difference is that I was working then and I don't plan on selling my place on eBay (tempting!). I have always been really careful with my money. I rrarely buy things for myself and when I do, it's usually full of regret as they ring it up and ask for my cash. However, I always end up glad I spent the money, it's just getting past the small road bump tummy feels sick sort of feeling.
Problem resolve?:
...Suck it up and put out. ;] The cash that is. Hopefully in the long run, I will be earning every penny back with my fashion sells. It's just that first leap that scares you (well, all leaps scare me! I hate falling). But I want to do this. I want to give it a chance.
Who knows! If I end up really liking making Loli-dresses than I might expand from eBay and start my own official website and business. Siiiiigh. *Daydreaming*
Anyways! Until then, I shall just start with the simplest things to do first.... Buy my own Loli-dress and study up on the fashion and get me a new machine!
^^^^ Doesn't that sound like half pep-talk half scared shiz-less?
Anyways, the other day I was helping a girl on a forum find some knee high socks with baby blue ribbons on them. When I asked her what they were for she said she was being a 'magical girl' to an anime/gaming convention she was going to. She showed me the shoes she had picked out, probably the cutest shoes I've seen. When I explained that I loved putting outfits together and that I use to make costumes for a play, she enlisted my help in finding a dress/top to go along. It took a few days of squealing and giggling and admiring until I stumbled on this one and she was in love.
Well searching and sharing, her and I started talking about how cool Gothic Lolita and regular Lolita is. Lolita is a cutesy, Victorian style, made most popular in Japan. Girls often wear dresses with bows and ruffles glamour! (Bet my step-dad wishes I had wanted to be Loli while growing up ;]) Anyways, searching, searching, searching, critiquing. I started to see how some dresses where so simple and then just dressed up with lace, bows, over coats, corset like ribboning. My sewing eye had been caught! I desperately wanted to make something. I wanted to save forty bucks on a dress that I could make myself.
That's when I got to thinking. Hey, these people on eBay make about fifty and up on one Loli-Goth dress (not accounting for the really detailed ones running at about 160) and it isn't even that complicated looking. I could do it. I could do it and sell it.
I want to make some dresses like these and try my hand at some eBay. I've thought about it a long time, it's always been in the back of my mind, I just figured it would be a side hobby while owning my own clothing store someday. But now, while I'm trying to earn money for the summer so I can spend it (the summer, not money) how I wish... Why not now? Why not NOT just a hobby? What's stopping me?
Broken sewing machine
OLD sewing machine
Proper lessons
Money to start such a large investment
Let's define these.
Broken and OLD can go together;
My sewing machine is seriously so old. I think it must have survived the 50's or something. It's a nasty tea-tan color (not that looks matter, just sewing most machines are white now) and is insanely dirty on the inside. The bobbin gets ratted up underneath and tangled in the top-stitching causing me to get frustrated, annoyed, and in the end, defeated beyond recovery. I can only use 1 out of the 10? settings it has thanks to the feet being lost for good. Did I mention it wobbles? Yeah, it lost a part of the cover and now is recklessly unbalanced unless I put something under it. And I believe I am down to my last needle. All of these things CAN be fixed, for a price, but in the end... I would just like a sewing machine that can do it all and not fight with me. Is that too much to ask?
Problem resolve?:
Buy a new one. I have been wanting a new one ever since I learned how to sew. My teacher had this really cool computerized one that did just about EVERYTHING. It even threaded itself. How amazing is that? I've just been too chicken/lazy to buy a new one. I'm afraid of getting one and having it torture me. Or getting one and it breaks down (taking things back is such a pain in the arse). But I do believe it is time to invest in the sewing machine of my dreams! Now if only I could test drive them all... I've been reading this blog called A Dress A Day on picking out the right one, so hopefully I wont make a mistake! Sigh.
Proper lessons:
I've had minimal lessons on sewing and basically just winged it most of the time. So depressing. This and the broken machine are what always made me give up right away. I suppose the fact that a straight line is difficult for me to achieve was the best discouragement ever!
Problem resolve?:
I'd like to take sewing lessons again. I want to learn all the things I never knew and even the things I've already learned. I am going to see if there are any summer lessons at the college up here IF I get a new machine during the summer. Easy problem fix!
Large investment:
This would be an extreme invest to me. Almost like my apartment was. The only difference is that I was working then and I don't plan on selling my place on eBay (tempting!). I have always been really careful with my money. I rrarely buy things for myself and when I do, it's usually full of regret as they ring it up and ask for my cash. However, I always end up glad I spent the money, it's just getting past the small road bump tummy feels sick sort of feeling.
Problem resolve?:
...Suck it up and put out. ;] The cash that is. Hopefully in the long run, I will be earning every penny back with my fashion sells. It's just that first leap that scares you (well, all leaps scare me! I hate falling). But I want to do this. I want to give it a chance.
Who knows! If I end up really liking making Loli-dresses than I might expand from eBay and start my own official website and business. Siiiiigh. *Daydreaming*
Anyways! Until then, I shall just start with the simplest things to do first.... Buy my own Loli-dress and study up on the fashion and get me a new machine!
Friday, April 10, 2009
Frustration...Sucks
So, I've been learning how to make layouts. You will be witnessing this very soon, I do hope. I'll playing around with this blog's layout until I can get it right. Then I will proceed with my professional blog.
Sigh.
I don't know why but I get so curious as to what is going on on the 'other' side of the world. I read a little bit of the older journal from HIS new girl. I didn't want to read, so I skimmed through. I knew I would get caught up and angry. I did however read one whole post from her old journal, saying how he showed her mom's blog and was disturbed by the whole thing. How the 'seed of doubt' was planted now and she instantly told him that she didn't want anything else to do with it, to never see it again, that she thought that they just fed off of each other. I was proud, thinking she wasn't as silly/obsessive as I had thought (forgetting it was an OLD post). But, she then posted a few random posts (didn't really read into her life) and then one whole post about how my mom is this and how she's a nut job and how everyone sees through her because 'nothing ever came of it' from CASA or the courts. <---Obsessed! Which is what I was starting to feel! Obsessed with trying to prove them, HER wrong. But only in my head. I decided I'm done with it. She's going to be that way and all we can do is say, "Well, if they see RIGHT THROUGH it, wouldn't HE have the kids by now? Hmmm?"
The end.
That's it. That's all I have to say.
Anyways! Today... We're suppose to be doing some competition at a casino around here. Not sure what is going on with the gang, I guess I should call one of them or something. It isn't until later anyways. Maybe we'll hit the club-scene for a few drinks or something after Curtis gets off work. Who knows who knows!
I feel too down hearted to blog anymore. Just thinking about how long it's taken with this whole custody battle tires me. And to think we haven't done anything else yet. Nevada is a horrible legal state, or rather Carson City's legal stuff is horrible. CASA is ran by easily persuaded people, easily blinded by fronts. I don't know. I suppose it will all get better soon. The girls are growing up into beautiful...girls, lol, and every day I spend away from them sorta really sucks. Venice has become one of my top best friends. And Kaydance! Wow, she's so smart, it is silly. But she still has that blonde underneath. Except for the whole, "Aunt Jen said there was going to be a new moon next month and I was like, 'oh cooool'."
"You have no idea what that is, do you?" I asked.
She laughed and shrugged.
Silly girl.
I love my family.
Sigh.
I don't know why but I get so curious as to what is going on on the 'other' side of the world. I read a little bit of the older journal from HIS new girl. I didn't want to read, so I skimmed through. I knew I would get caught up and angry. I did however read one whole post from her old journal, saying how he showed her mom's blog and was disturbed by the whole thing. How the 'seed of doubt' was planted now and she instantly told him that she didn't want anything else to do with it, to never see it again, that she thought that they just fed off of each other. I was proud, thinking she wasn't as silly/obsessive as I had thought (forgetting it was an OLD post). But, she then posted a few random posts (didn't really read into her life) and then one whole post about how my mom is this and how she's a nut job and how everyone sees through her because 'nothing ever came of it' from CASA or the courts. <---Obsessed! Which is what I was starting to feel! Obsessed with trying to prove them, HER wrong. But only in my head. I decided I'm done with it. She's going to be that way and all we can do is say, "Well, if they see RIGHT THROUGH it, wouldn't HE have the kids by now? Hmmm?"
The end.
That's it. That's all I have to say.
Anyways! Today... We're suppose to be doing some competition at a casino around here. Not sure what is going on with the gang, I guess I should call one of them or something. It isn't until later anyways. Maybe we'll hit the club-scene for a few drinks or something after Curtis gets off work. Who knows who knows!
I feel too down hearted to blog anymore. Just thinking about how long it's taken with this whole custody battle tires me. And to think we haven't done anything else yet. Nevada is a horrible legal state, or rather Carson City's legal stuff is horrible. CASA is ran by easily persuaded people, easily blinded by fronts. I don't know. I suppose it will all get better soon. The girls are growing up into beautiful...girls, lol, and every day I spend away from them sorta really sucks. Venice has become one of my top best friends. And Kaydance! Wow, she's so smart, it is silly. But she still has that blonde underneath. Except for the whole, "Aunt Jen said there was going to be a new moon next month and I was like, 'oh cooool'."
"You have no idea what that is, do you?" I asked.
She laughed and shrugged.
Silly girl.
I love my family.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Baby Crazed or just....Crazy?
So, a lot of people I know are or have had a baby in the recent year. Angelina had a baby (who I have yet to meet, sadness), Joanne is having a baby, Charity was having a baby (double triple sadness), Brenda just had her baby on April 1st, Hector's wife is having their third baby next month... Well, the list goes on and on (at least it seems so to me). So, I've been a bit surrounded by some baby frenzy.
I suppose it's really getting to me because for the past two weeks I've been having dreams about babies. Well, not babies in general, but more along the lines of having a baby. This all leads up to last night, I just didn't want to leave you in the "Why would she dream about that!" daze. So, I just wanted to share my latest, strange dream involving my aunt and babies.
I remember being happy but disappointed. And when it flashed to the next scene of my dream, I realized it was because I had a baby but Curtis was making me put it up for adoption because we weren't ready for it. (LOL! Like I'd listen to him!) I still worked at the Childrens Museum and my aunt Jen came by to this sort of group thing the place was putting on. And guess what she had! My baby. That's right, she had unknowingly adopted her own niece's baby boy. (Mind you, she didn't seem to have any kids during this dream except for my baby).
I just remember being very heart broken every time the baby cried and she would comfort it. I was so sad that someone else was raising my kid and I had to sit there and not saying anything. For some reason, I didn't tell my family and I got the feeling in my dream that they would be shocked if they found out.
LOL! How weird was that? I woke up very emotional and a little grumpy with Curtis. When I explained my dream to him, he sort of just stared at me like I was crazy and then apologized, saying he'd never make me do something like. Especially if my family adopted it! Ha, ha, ha. That would be my luck. Having to watch something I love grow up without me! Oh wait! Is that not what watching someone you love love someone is? Of course, silly crushes do not lead to much, but at the time it felt horrible. Back to my main point, I think I'll look up in a dream book or website to see what they make of this sort of dream. I'll post tomorrow! Right now, it's time for a movie with my put-my-kid-up-for-adoption-why-don't-ya boyfriend!
To all you mom's to be, watch out for my aunt!
xoxo~
Alexis
I suppose it's really getting to me because for the past two weeks I've been having dreams about babies. Well, not babies in general, but more along the lines of having a baby. This all leads up to last night, I just didn't want to leave you in the "Why would she dream about that!" daze. So, I just wanted to share my latest, strange dream involving my aunt and babies.
I remember being happy but disappointed. And when it flashed to the next scene of my dream, I realized it was because I had a baby but Curtis was making me put it up for adoption because we weren't ready for it. (LOL! Like I'd listen to him!) I still worked at the Childrens Museum and my aunt Jen came by to this sort of group thing the place was putting on. And guess what she had! My baby. That's right, she had unknowingly adopted her own niece's baby boy. (Mind you, she didn't seem to have any kids during this dream except for my baby).
I just remember being very heart broken every time the baby cried and she would comfort it. I was so sad that someone else was raising my kid and I had to sit there and not saying anything. For some reason, I didn't tell my family and I got the feeling in my dream that they would be shocked if they found out.
LOL! How weird was that? I woke up very emotional and a little grumpy with Curtis. When I explained my dream to him, he sort of just stared at me like I was crazy and then apologized, saying he'd never make me do something like. Especially if my family adopted it! Ha, ha, ha. That would be my luck. Having to watch something I love grow up without me! Oh wait! Is that not what watching someone you love love someone is? Of course, silly crushes do not lead to much, but at the time it felt horrible. Back to my main point, I think I'll look up in a dream book or website to see what they make of this sort of dream. I'll post tomorrow! Right now, it's time for a movie with my put-my-kid-up-for-adoption-why-don't-ya boyfriend!
To all you mom's to be, watch out for my aunt!
xoxo~
Alexis
Sunday, March 29, 2009
New Layout Time! And A Little Rant
So, I've monetised my blog. Hopefully that'll do SOMETHING, right? And now I am in want of a layout to call my own. I got particullary clever with livejournal layouts, journalspace layouts and also with myspace ones, however I'm thinking Blogspot layouts are going to take me sometime to catch onto. I'm also hoping to get a TABLET for the computer with the money mother is paying me to clean out the old house. I have been wanting to test one for about six years now but never really willing to invest. Which is sort of sad. However this time I have promised myself that I will not flake out! I want to create my own graphics for my layout anyhow.
Mother recently moved out of our old house which was slowly poisoning her, again, and pretty much left anything she didn't instantly need. So, my sisters and I (and somehow my boyfriend) have offered our services to just through everything out. It's mostly junk anyhow, all intoxicated with mold and just useless. We'll try to sell the couch and bed frames seeing as how brand new they semi-are. Plus, I can't stand to see such a comfortable, good looking, huge couch go to waste.
On a side note;
A friend of our's found the blog of my mom's ex's fiance. Apparently, her and the lucky bastard are getting hitch. But shhhh, it's a secret because my mom might show up and ruin it for everyone! OH noes! Why in the hell would we want to waste our time coming to some fake marriage anyway? Their whole relationship is based around lies, as we have read, and it would only be a waste of OUR time to try and stop this poor lady from making a huge mistake like my mom and his wife before mom. She honestly thinks mister liar pays child support and that we want to RAISE it? What a hoot! That guy hasn't paid child support since we were forced to get a restraining order because he would follow us around in his stupid silver car with the license plate 'BATMAN'. Obviously we could never tell it was him! What a douche. As I remember, he was only paying three hundred for child support (for like two months) and the minium PER CHILD is three hundredish. So, he still owes us for Kaydance. Oh, and they both are not even eighteen yet, so he still has some catching up to do.
Not that ANY OF US want his money after what he's put us ALL through. All of the mind games and torture. I just wish I could find this lady and tell her the truth. She needs the truth. Even if she decided to actually go through with marrying him, at least she could be warned, you know? Physical and mental abuse are hard to go through when nobody believes you.
But for now, all I will do is pray that things go different for her and for her son. They need all the prayers and blessings they can get. To you lady; Good luck, don't be fooled, and stop writing about my mom. First of all, you don't know her, you only know HIS side. Which is mostly lies. He's got TWO ex wives who say the same thing. Isn't that a sign? Second of all, you are starting to sound a little obsessed with publicly bashing my mom. Not only is that morally wrong, it's slander. What goes around, will come around on judgement day.
Peace out~
xoxo
Alexis
Mother recently moved out of our old house which was slowly poisoning her, again, and pretty much left anything she didn't instantly need. So, my sisters and I (and somehow my boyfriend) have offered our services to just through everything out. It's mostly junk anyhow, all intoxicated with mold and just useless. We'll try to sell the couch and bed frames seeing as how brand new they semi-are. Plus, I can't stand to see such a comfortable, good looking, huge couch go to waste.
On a side note;
A friend of our's found the blog of my mom's ex's fiance. Apparently, her and the lucky bastard are getting hitch. But shhhh, it's a secret because my mom might show up and ruin it for everyone! OH noes! Why in the hell would we want to waste our time coming to some fake marriage anyway? Their whole relationship is based around lies, as we have read, and it would only be a waste of OUR time to try and stop this poor lady from making a huge mistake like my mom and his wife before mom. She honestly thinks mister liar pays child support and that we want to RAISE it? What a hoot! That guy hasn't paid child support since we were forced to get a restraining order because he would follow us around in his stupid silver car with the license plate 'BATMAN'. Obviously we could never tell it was him! What a douche. As I remember, he was only paying three hundred for child support (for like two months) and the minium PER CHILD is three hundredish. So, he still owes us for Kaydance. Oh, and they both are not even eighteen yet, so he still has some catching up to do.
Not that ANY OF US want his money after what he's put us ALL through. All of the mind games and torture. I just wish I could find this lady and tell her the truth. She needs the truth. Even if she decided to actually go through with marrying him, at least she could be warned, you know? Physical and mental abuse are hard to go through when nobody believes you.
But for now, all I will do is pray that things go different for her and for her son. They need all the prayers and blessings they can get. To you lady; Good luck, don't be fooled, and stop writing about my mom. First of all, you don't know her, you only know HIS side. Which is mostly lies. He's got TWO ex wives who say the same thing. Isn't that a sign? Second of all, you are starting to sound a little obsessed with publicly bashing my mom. Not only is that morally wrong, it's slander. What goes around, will come around on judgement day.
Peace out~
xoxo
Alexis
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Google Fun I stole from Jacqui
RULES:Go to Google and type in your first name and the phrase. Copy and paste the first sentence/phrase you get that makes sense.
Q: Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search.
A: Alexis needs... ...to stop drawing on herself
Q: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search.
A: Alexis looks like a little girl
Q: Type in "[your name] says" in Google search.
A: Alexis says the Commissioner of Police should reconsider his decision refusing NDC permission to use public address systems
Q: Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search.
A: Alexis Wants To Be President
1Q: Type in "[your name] does" in Google search.
A: Alexis does a GT3RS Video from Bikinili Kizlar
Q: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search.
A: Alexis hates coffee <-- so true!
Q: Type in "[your name] asks" in Google search.
A: Alexis tells them that phase one is complete and asks them if they have the clips
Q: Type in "[your name] goes" in Google search.
A: alexis goes to magnolia bakery!
Q: Type in "[your name] likes " in Google search.
A: alexis likes shitty music <-- hey! D:
Q: Type in "[your name] eats " in Google search.
A: Alexis eats rice cereal for the first time!
Q: Type in "[your name] wears " in Google search.
A: Alexis wears face powder/foundation
Q: Type in "[your name] was arrested for" in Google Search.
A: Alexis was arrested for supposedly ... <-- that's seriously all it showed
Q: Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search.
A: Alexis needs... ...to stop drawing on herself
Q: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search.
A: Alexis looks like a little girl
Q: Type in "[your name] says" in Google search.
A: Alexis says the Commissioner of Police should reconsider his decision refusing NDC permission to use public address systems
Q: Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search.
A: Alexis Wants To Be President
1Q: Type in "[your name] does" in Google search.
A: Alexis does a GT3RS Video from Bikinili Kizlar
Q: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search.
A: Alexis hates coffee <-- so true!
Q: Type in "[your name] asks" in Google search.
A: Alexis tells them that phase one is complete and asks them if they have the clips
Q: Type in "[your name] goes" in Google search.
A: alexis goes to magnolia bakery!
Q: Type in "[your name] likes " in Google search.
A: alexis likes shitty music <-- hey! D:
Q: Type in "[your name] eats " in Google search.
A: Alexis eats rice cereal for the first time!
Q: Type in "[your name] wears " in Google search.
A: Alexis wears face powder/foundation
Q: Type in "[your name] was arrested for" in Google Search.
A: Alexis was arrested for supposedly ... <-- that's seriously all it showed
Monday, March 9, 2009
Ideas for Future Blogs
So, I was terribly upset last time I blogged, however, the boy and I have worked out and agreed that we both know what we want and that is practically the opposite thing. We also agreed that we both would like to someday (definitely not the near future) move from Lake Tahoe. As much as Curtis trying convincing me how lucky we are to live in Tahoe, and that some people would die to live here, it didn't really move me. I've lived in Tahoe for practically a year and yes, it is beautiful, but it's just not the place for me right now. Maybe someday I'll come back. When I can afford a house by the lake and a boat or snow mobile, you know? So, for now we are looking into places we can both be happy with.
As for now! I am currently working on two other blog ideas. They are simple ideas, but really complex to set up so far. One is a collaboration with a friend on some story we are creating. I'm not exactly sure how that will work out. We both have different writing styles and I'm probably a little more advanced than her. No offense, though. It's suppose to be a modern fantasy, sort of. About two different worlds and four people very much the same. Doppelgangers, if that means anything to anyone.
The second one will be my own story that I've been tossing around in my head. It's inspired by a friend and his Faith. It should be interesting, to say the least. I just need mother to show me how to manage more than one blog. Ha, ha. I'm still working out ways to make it work, but, the main idea....
An average nice guy gets recruited to go on a mission for some 'mystery boss' aka God. This boy/guy/man is then tested through his Faith/Hope while trying to complete the mission. But halfway through he starts to rethink what the mission even is and doubt lurks around the corner.
So, I should have a lot of on my plate.
I'm also going to start doing some kind of youtube with a friend I made in Australia. I'm not really sure how to explain it. It's suppose to be something along the lines of us all having our own category and exploring it? I'm not really sure. She's going to come up with more information on it really soon. I chose pop culture because it's practically the only thing I'm smart about! Oh, diss on myself. Well, this just means I'll have more of an excuse to follow up on celebrity gossip and movies and music! Teh win!
Either way.
Hopefully these will somehow rake in some cash for my pocket! I'm sick of not being able to shop! Sadness.
Anyways! Leave me some back on the story ideas or something! I love to hear some ideas and what not.
Alexis
As for now! I am currently working on two other blog ideas. They are simple ideas, but really complex to set up so far. One is a collaboration with a friend on some story we are creating. I'm not exactly sure how that will work out. We both have different writing styles and I'm probably a little more advanced than her. No offense, though. It's suppose to be a modern fantasy, sort of. About two different worlds and four people very much the same. Doppelgangers, if that means anything to anyone.
The second one will be my own story that I've been tossing around in my head. It's inspired by a friend and his Faith. It should be interesting, to say the least. I just need mother to show me how to manage more than one blog. Ha, ha. I'm still working out ways to make it work, but, the main idea....
An average nice guy gets recruited to go on a mission for some 'mystery boss' aka God. This boy/guy/man is then tested through his Faith/Hope while trying to complete the mission. But halfway through he starts to rethink what the mission even is and doubt lurks around the corner.
So, I should have a lot of on my plate.
I'm also going to start doing some kind of youtube with a friend I made in Australia. I'm not really sure how to explain it. It's suppose to be something along the lines of us all having our own category and exploring it? I'm not really sure. She's going to come up with more information on it really soon. I chose pop culture because it's practically the only thing I'm smart about! Oh, diss on myself. Well, this just means I'll have more of an excuse to follow up on celebrity gossip and movies and music! Teh win!
Either way.
Hopefully these will somehow rake in some cash for my pocket! I'm sick of not being able to shop! Sadness.
Anyways! Leave me some back on the story ideas or something! I love to hear some ideas and what not.
Alexis
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Utterly Miserable
I just want to live somewhere warm almost all year round. I've been looking for places where it snows at least in a 50 mile+ area, but it isn't good enough. Australia seems like a dream, from what I've been finding out. It's like Canada and has free health care. They get paid A LOT more out there than us, and it's warm. Plus, it does snow in some parts.
Curtis wont move somewhere only to have drive more than hour to snowboard. I understand it's the only real sport he loves, the only time he feels really happy, you know? But I'm so miserable here. I can't stand the cold. It hurts. I was discussing the situation with someone who didn't really know us both. I needed someone to listen, not someone to tell me to leave Curtis. I love Curtis.
Just keep praying on it and see how it works.
Alexis
Curtis wont move somewhere only to have drive more than hour to snowboard. I understand it's the only real sport he loves, the only time he feels really happy, you know? But I'm so miserable here. I can't stand the cold. It hurts. I was discussing the situation with someone who didn't really know us both. I needed someone to listen, not someone to tell me to leave Curtis. I love Curtis.
I was telling him what you told me about living in Australia, you know, semi-serious but really just to say it and see what he thought. And he practically told me that I didn't care about him because I was taking him away from the only thing he truly loves by taking him more than hour away from snow. And when I tried to explain that I was really unhappy in winter weather he said, "So, you want to move somewhere always warm and make me miserable."I'll figure something out.
.____. I just don't see how this will work out. I don't want to break up with him but I'm so miserable in snow. I like to look at it, that's it.
Yeah, I told him everything you told me! Even that he could still work somewhere he knows really well. But he just... I don't know. He got really upset with me and so, I jokingly said, "Well, darn! Guess we should go our separate ways then!" And he yelled at me and asked why would I even say that. I told him I didn't mean, that I loved him, but I WON'T live my whole life somewhere it snows. He said he knew that. And I said, I refuse to even spend the majority of my life in snow.
And he told me that he wasn't willing to live to anywhere where it takes an hour or more to get to a resort. And I said, well, an hour isn't so bad for something you love. And then he told me that I haven't even tried anything to like the winter and I explained I hated the cold and there was nothing that would I enjoy, much less can afford to enjoy. ._.
Normally he's like Luke. Gives me a logic answer. But this time it was just a flat out, "No snow, no going."
So I got hurt and told him that I'm living my life here in the snow with him, away from the one thing I really love to. The ocean!
._______. I can't stop crying.
Just keep praying on it and see how it works.
Alexis
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Decisions, Decisions
Well, feeling like I'm about to repeat myself. I feel like I should be working so I reach some other goal. But I don't even know what that goal actually is. I know what I want later on in life, the same as most people, a house, a wonderful marriage, kids someday, A MILLION PETS (lol), and a job where I can't wait to get in the office but also am glad for the end of the day. And then there's that keyword; office. Is that what I want? An office job? No, I've always told myself I was never a sit at a desk kind of girl, but what am I doing now?
Sitting at my breakfast bar writing on a laptop. The irony is tickling my insides!
The only difference is, I do not have health insurance, my hours are as I please, and I don't have anyone to blame but myself. Hmmm! Maybe that's why I'm feeling like it's time to work? Because I am finally my own boss and am I slightly failing at it. Epically. I use to be able to motivate myself fairly well. I was always writing away at work or practicing my sketching at work because it was incredibly boring. Why can't I seem to do that for myself at home now? I'm bored here, all alone for eight hours, almost every day. I feel so disappointed in myself but I know I'm the only one who can fix it. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I am so mixed up by my own doing it's ridiculious.
I don't know. I need some kind of sign of what to do, I suppose?
The other day my friend mentioned she'd need some roommates for her really large house back in Carson City. It'd be 400 a month. I don't know if this includes utilities or not, but that would be a heck of a lot cheaper than living up here in Tahoe. Then I'd be around a few of my friends again. Making friends in Tahoe has been really hard. All the ones I thought were my friends turned out to actually just be work-buddies, you know? Is that what growing up is? Work-buddies and family? Hahaha, bummer. OH WELL. I'm still trying. But it made me really think, you know? If we moved down there, we'd each be saving two hundred thirty dollars a month. The only problem would be Curtis's job which he isn't ready to leave yet. So he'd still be coming up and down to Tahoe every day, just like I use to do. Of course, this wouldn't happen until our lease is up in Spring.
And don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed at all. I haven't felt real depressed since I left Montbleu. Sure, I've had PMS and the occasional, "AAAAAAAAAAH! I'm so bored!" depression. But those are easy to get past. Especially with a boyfriend like Curtis and my puppy and turtle and even writing has been helping. I'm just doing soul-searching now and it's frustrating me that it as instant like the movies. Don't they just go for a walk on the beach or around the city alone and then BAM it hits them? (Sometimes quite literally)
You know what? I'm lying to myself. It HAS hit me, I just don't want to admit it, do I? I have to at least finish my associates degree in college. It's been on my mind for a while now. I should suck it up and go back to school. All of the emails from the colleges and the little side adds about what kind of career do I want to study for! Those ARE my signs. Man! I was so stupid! What have I been wasting my time on? God HAS given me a sign. Over and over and over. And what have I done? Thrown them away as junk mail! Well, no more. I'm going to sign up for Spring/Summer classes as soon as possible now. I've released my mistake and now am going to do something about it.
Wish me luck!
xoxo
Alexis
Sitting at my breakfast bar writing on a laptop. The irony is tickling my insides!
The only difference is, I do not have health insurance, my hours are as I please, and I don't have anyone to blame but myself. Hmmm! Maybe that's why I'm feeling like it's time to work? Because I am finally my own boss and am I slightly failing at it. Epically. I use to be able to motivate myself fairly well. I was always writing away at work or practicing my sketching at work because it was incredibly boring. Why can't I seem to do that for myself at home now? I'm bored here, all alone for eight hours, almost every day. I feel so disappointed in myself but I know I'm the only one who can fix it. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I am so mixed up by my own doing it's ridiculious.
I don't know. I need some kind of sign of what to do, I suppose?
The other day my friend mentioned she'd need some roommates for her really large house back in Carson City. It'd be 400 a month. I don't know if this includes utilities or not, but that would be a heck of a lot cheaper than living up here in Tahoe. Then I'd be around a few of my friends again. Making friends in Tahoe has been really hard. All the ones I thought were my friends turned out to actually just be work-buddies, you know? Is that what growing up is? Work-buddies and family? Hahaha, bummer. OH WELL. I'm still trying. But it made me really think, you know? If we moved down there, we'd each be saving two hundred thirty dollars a month. The only problem would be Curtis's job which he isn't ready to leave yet. So he'd still be coming up and down to Tahoe every day, just like I use to do. Of course, this wouldn't happen until our lease is up in Spring.
And don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed at all. I haven't felt real depressed since I left Montbleu. Sure, I've had PMS and the occasional, "AAAAAAAAAAH! I'm so bored!" depression. But those are easy to get past. Especially with a boyfriend like Curtis and my puppy and turtle and even writing has been helping. I'm just doing soul-searching now and it's frustrating me that it as instant like the movies. Don't they just go for a walk on the beach or around the city alone and then BAM it hits them? (Sometimes quite literally)
You know what? I'm lying to myself. It HAS hit me, I just don't want to admit it, do I? I have to at least finish my associates degree in college. It's been on my mind for a while now. I should suck it up and go back to school. All of the emails from the colleges and the little side adds about what kind of career do I want to study for! Those ARE my signs. Man! I was so stupid! What have I been wasting my time on? God HAS given me a sign. Over and over and over. And what have I done? Thrown them away as junk mail! Well, no more. I'm going to sign up for Spring/Summer classes as soon as possible now. I've released my mistake and now am going to do something about it.
Wish me luck!
xoxo
Alexis
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Aren't First Post Suppose to Have a Cool Title?
Well, here I am. My first blog post. Not my very first, of course. I use to write all the time on journalspace.com however I got busy and heard a rumor they closed everything down. Haven't really felt like looking into the matter! I joined here instead because it seems to be where practically my whole family is blogging away all their little lives and details. So I might as well join the party, right?
I'm not even sure what to write at this point. I could indulge in what my life is currently like and how it came to be or I could talk about the weather, music, movies. It could be anything I want. That's the whole purpose of a blog. However, I don't really feel like talking about myself right now. Odd, isn't it? Most people are very self-centered, whether it's good or bad, and often just talk and talk and talk without even realizing it. Like what I'm doing now. Hmm...
Some other thing is on my mind right now. I'm watching one of my favorite movies on Xbox Live Netflix. Which is really handy, by the way. Although my heart is a bit heavy.
One of my dearest friends has gone to India today! He just wrote me saying he made it there and asked how I was doing. That seemed really silly to me, but that's just Scott. He's one of the nicest guys I've never even met. We've been writing (aim, email, myspace) friends for a really long time now. I'd say five-ish years but my math could be wrong. He use to live in Georgia then moved to Colorado before my eighteenth birthday. I always had wanted to meet him face-to-face, to shake his hand, to give him a hug, to pull him into a headlock and give the boy a noogie! It never flew through even with us being only a day apart from each other. Maybe we just weren't meant to actually meet? I don't know why we wouldn't. For the longest time Scott was my bestest friend in the whole world. I could tell him a lot of everything and he told me things, also. You know, bestfriendie stuff. My family went through a really tough time and during our whole year of moving from home to home, I lost touch with him.
I finally got ahold of him again and we spoke on and off a lot. And now, he's in India. Doing his heart's will, something that makes him feel like he is part of the world, something for the greater good. I'm not really allowed to talk about it. Tourism is shun upon in many places, if you catch my meaning. ;] Putting that in the closet, I just wanted to mention how proud of him I was. I have 'grown up' with him in a way and I feel confident in saying that who he is is exactly how I pictured him growing up to be and so much more. Sure, he went through a few heart aches I wouldn't wish on anyone, but it made him more aware of things, more aware of himself. He once said he was going to grow up and be Spongebob and we'd live in a house with pineapple wallpaper, it's something I still remember and smile about often even after all of his acclompishments and our talks it's my favorite.
So, this post is dedicated to my SpongeScott. May your heart be full of Love and God's word and may your mind be a half blank slate so as to learn new customs and loves. I lurve you, buddy. And someday, especially since you went to India, you better meet up with me. I think we each other enough to at least get a myspace picture together!
xoxo
Alexis
I'm not even sure what to write at this point. I could indulge in what my life is currently like and how it came to be or I could talk about the weather, music, movies. It could be anything I want. That's the whole purpose of a blog. However, I don't really feel like talking about myself right now. Odd, isn't it? Most people are very self-centered, whether it's good or bad, and often just talk and talk and talk without even realizing it. Like what I'm doing now. Hmm...
Some other thing is on my mind right now. I'm watching one of my favorite movies on Xbox Live Netflix. Which is really handy, by the way. Although my heart is a bit heavy.
One of my dearest friends has gone to India today! He just wrote me saying he made it there and asked how I was doing. That seemed really silly to me, but that's just Scott. He's one of the nicest guys I've never even met. We've been writing (aim, email, myspace) friends for a really long time now. I'd say five-ish years but my math could be wrong. He use to live in Georgia then moved to Colorado before my eighteenth birthday. I always had wanted to meet him face-to-face, to shake his hand, to give him a hug, to pull him into a headlock and give the boy a noogie! It never flew through even with us being only a day apart from each other. Maybe we just weren't meant to actually meet? I don't know why we wouldn't. For the longest time Scott was my bestest friend in the whole world. I could tell him a lot of everything and he told me things, also. You know, bestfriendie stuff. My family went through a really tough time and during our whole year of moving from home to home, I lost touch with him.
I finally got ahold of him again and we spoke on and off a lot. And now, he's in India. Doing his heart's will, something that makes him feel like he is part of the world, something for the greater good. I'm not really allowed to talk about it. Tourism is shun upon in many places, if you catch my meaning. ;] Putting that in the closet, I just wanted to mention how proud of him I was. I have 'grown up' with him in a way and I feel confident in saying that who he is is exactly how I pictured him growing up to be and so much more. Sure, he went through a few heart aches I wouldn't wish on anyone, but it made him more aware of things, more aware of himself. He once said he was going to grow up and be Spongebob and we'd live in a house with pineapple wallpaper, it's something I still remember and smile about often even after all of his acclompishments and our talks it's my favorite.
So, this post is dedicated to my SpongeScott. May your heart be full of Love and God's word and may your mind be a half blank slate so as to learn new customs and loves. I lurve you, buddy. And someday, especially since you went to India, you better meet up with me. I think we each other enough to at least get a myspace picture together!
xoxo
Alexis
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